MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #11
1. What is a weird/funny superstition that you have?
I’m not sure it’s so much superstition as merely a very strong belief in karma. Or in my ability to jinx things. Like, I refuse to say “NavyGuy will be home by exact date” because then, of course, he won’t be home until after then. Or, if a whole bunch of really good things happen to me in a row, I have to watch out for falling pianos. Or anvils.
2. What are your hopes and dreams for the years AFTER the military? (After all, we aren’t in it forever!)
In my ideal world, NavyGuy and I will be back in Wisconsin somewhere. He will be a brilliant entrepreneur, getting dressed up in a nice suit each day and working in an office running his successful business, where I can actually call him and get a hold of him when I need to. We’ll live in an impressive, but not stuffy, house where we throw amazing parties and people rave about my hostess skills and ask for my crab dip recipe (which I’ll never give the secret ingredient for). Our two smart, funny, and talented girls will actually want to spend time with us cool parents, and we’ll take fun family vacations each year and send obnoxious Christmas cards with a vacation photo where we’re each sticking our head in a cardboard cut-out making us look like pirates. I’ll work from home doing consulting work for schools (or something where I can use my brilliance but not have to put on pants with an actual waistband). Basically, I’d like to live like Don and Betty Draper, except without the affairs, divorce, alcoholism, repression, sexism, and corsets. Am I setting myself up for disappointment? 
3. Since this month is National Apple Month, what is your yummiest apple recipe?
This easy-peasy Apple Crisp recipe.
4. How long have you gone as a military spouse without talking to your husband/wife during service?
One week. When NavyGuy was in OCS (Officer Candidate School, training to become an officer), he was only allowed to make phone calls on Sunday mornings. Other than that, we’ve always been lucky enough to be able to pretty much talk every day. Take that Navy! Ha!
5. I occasionally watch When I was 17… on MTV. So, what was something that was significant about your 17th year of life?
I was 17 when it became the year 2000. So, significantly, nothing came of the Y2K scare and we all survived! In other news, when I was 17 I starred as the Evil Stepmother in our high school’s production of Cinderella, planned prom with TWP (don’t EVER say the words “corrugated cardboard” to her), and my weight on my driver’s license was accurate.
First Glee Trailer!
Hey hey kids – it’s almost here! Just a few more weeks and new GLEE!! Ran across this trailer on TVSquad.com and of course, had to share it – as well as my initial reactions – with you:
1. Nationals in New York is a fantastic plot device – anything that allows them to work in Alicia Key’s “Empire State of Mind” is good in my book.
2. Love Rachel’s (Lea Michelle’s) new bangs (I’d like to think she got the idea from me), but is she starting to look scary skinny? Like, she was always thin, but this is getting ridiculous.
3. The world needs more “ghetto” Kurt.
4. What are they going to do with the Terri character?
5. Is Quinn going to be back in the Cheerios? She was in the uniform during the dramatic locker shot with Finn…
Overall, I’m making this prognostication right now (yeah, check me out with the $10 words!) – The second season of Glee is going to disappoint. There’s no way not to. The first season was so new, so fresh, so hyped, that it doesn’t matter what they do in Season 2, it will be a disappointment. I’m guessing there’s going to be too many guest stars, and themed episodes. Oh, don’t get me wrong – I’ll still love it all, but I can just hear the entertainment writers bitching already about the over-the-top, ridiculousness of Glee’s sophomore season. Luckily, Fox already signed on for Season 3 of Glee (yes, that’s how much the network loves this juggernaut and that’s how much random information I know about a tv show), so even if Season 2 is a bit of a letdown, I predict they’ll get back in the groove for the third year. Just my take.
Now it’s time for your analysis? Thoughts on the promo? How do you think they’re going to work in the Britney Spears themed episode? Why wasn’t there more Puck in the promo? Where are we in the school year timeline? Are these kids never going to age? And, why can’t I grow up to be Sue Sylvester?!?!
Aw, Sh%t
So… I got a call from TWP yesterday. She’s the proud mama of two now: Meatball, my 2 1/2 year old goddaughter, and Squirts, my 2 week old godson. Both are wonderful, amazing miracles… that are trying to kill their mother with bodily fluids.
Squirts is a boy, and we (meaning, TWP, HistoryGirlie, and myself) don’t have much experience with baby boys. They have parts that all three of us avoided for the bulk of our formative years, so we’re fairly unfamiliar with how much they pee. And poop. And pee and poop at the same time. While you’re trying to change them. TWP is getting soaked on a regular basis and we haven’t managed to solve that issue yet. But, that’s what baby boys do, and life goes on.
The bigger bodily fluid issue is Meatball. Who has decided that in lieu of playing with her toys after she wakes up in the morning, she’d rather play with something else. Her poop. Yes. As in, smearing it on her hands, clothes, toys, books, bedroom, bedroom gate, and anything else she can get her feces-laden hands on. TWP is at her wits ends. And I’m second-guessing my decision to go visit at the end of September unless this problem is solved.
Now, from my research, her behavior is pretty normal for toddlers – they’re interested in their bodies, etc. But just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it can continue… cuz I really think TWP is close to losing it if she has to deal with a newborn, no sleep, post-giving-birth-body, and a two year old making poop art on a daily basis. As I’m not a mom myself, I can only give her sage advice like, “gee… can you duct tape her diaper on her or something? Or, oh, – try rubbing her nose in it! Wait, that’s a debunked strategy for dealing with dogs. Hmm… gosh, I don’t know – so about me visiting… something has come up…” But like a good friend, I’ve been trying to search online and see what I can dig up. So far, I’ve found these suggestions for “how to stop my toddler from playing with her poop” (yes, that was my actual Google search and you’d be terrified to know how many different pages showed up).
1. Dress the child in onesies, long pants, full button sleepers, or other outfits that will make access to the diaper difficult. (TWP is trying this, but it’s 90 degrees in St. Paul right now, so she’s slightly worried about giving Meatball heatstroke.) A few sites recommend something called the “Little Keeper Sleeper” that slightly resembles an ugly grey straight jacket, but I think keeping poop in the diaper is more a priority than fashion at this point. Another brand I found is EscapeeJays, which made me giggle.
Little Keeper Sleeper
2. Wrap packing tape around the top of the diaper. Yes – many websites and forums had real moms admitting to doing this. Some toddlers will apparently still find a way in, but for many it’s a deterrent. However, it is going to make getting the diaper off a bit of a challenge.
3. Instead of cleaning up the child with nice warm water, use cold water or give them a cold shower, to reinforce that this is not a reward for their behavior. This one seems a bit risky – is it too close to psychological torture? I’m not going to judge because I don’t know what lengths I’d go to if it was my child poop-smearing, but this might need to be considered a last resort.
The good news is that from everything I read, when a child starts playing with their diaper, it means they are interested in what’s in it, and they’re probably ready for potty training! I suppose that’s little consolation though when your house and child smell like shiznit. Does anyone have anything that will help TWP? Anyone survived this fun phase of childhood? Any other suggestions? As much as I’d like to help her, I also have selfish reasons for hoping for a quick resolution to this problem – my plane tickets are already booked so I have to head into the lion’s feces’ den in a few weeks!
Small Town Livin’
The metropolis of Anacortes has boomed again…
Our Little Caesars is now open. Hot and Ready all the time.
What recent addition to your town has caused a stir?
NavyGirl Talks Dog Park
Since Tally’s return from training, we’ve spent a considerable amount of time at the new Anacortes Dog Park. Our yard is fairly small and along a busy road, plus Tally likes other doggies – so on paper – the dog park is a perfect solution. However, I have a few issues that need to be addressed:
1. Dog parks have dogs. You’d think this would be a duh, but you’d be surprised by how many people I’ve seen walk in with their dogs, then freak out when another dog or human goes near their dog. Or conversely, they freak out if another dog comes near them. I agree that you don’t want a 160 pound Newfoundland jumping and drooling on you, but hey – you’re at a DOG park! Push the dog down and move on with your life. And guess what – wearing white linen pants to a dog park is simply stupid (yup, saw a woman wearing this yesterday morning). If you don’t want your dog to interact with other people or animals, then keep him or her at home.
2. Owners are to blame, not the dog. Going back to that 160 pound Newfoundland (which, if you haven’t seen one, resembles a medium sized black bear)… if you are the dog’s owner, then you need to be responsible for dog. Assume that people don’t want to be dry humped by your dog and intervene the first time it happens. Don’t laugh, don’t ignore it, don’t claim, “oh, he’s so friendly.” Get up off your lazy butt and intercede – if the person or dog is okay with the attention, fine; but don’t leave it up to other owners to discipline your dog. Same goes for dogs that jump, bark, nip, play rough, or generally misbehave; you need to be proactive. I always say something to Tally if she’s rubbing up against other people at the park, or seems to be bothering anyone – I’d much rather have that other person say, “it’s okay” than “hey, could you please tell your dog to stop licking me?”
3. Pay attention. All of these rants thoughts are interconnected, but this one makes me the saddest. I feel so sad for the dogs who are brought to the dog park, their own walks in, goes and sits down on a bench or under the pavilion, and completely ignores the dog for 20 minutes. I’ve seriously seen people come in, read their newspaper, and not even look up to see if their dog is still in the park the entire time they’ve been there! I know not all dogs are like mine and could chase a tennis ball until their legs fall off, but I think most dogs want to play with their owners somehow, or at least interact with you, and you ignoring them is what ends up causing problems for everyone else who is there. I know dogs are kids, but would you take your toddler to a playground and sit in the car reading your book the whole time? No. (Well, I’m sure there are some parents who would, but that’s reason #4,539 why there should be breeding licenses.)
4. Please leave my ball alone. This is a personal plea from Tally that she asked me to insert. Tally is too nice to say anything when someone else chases her ball down, but I can see she’s sad. And then I have to either be the nutcase who says things like, “Oh Tally, where did you leave YOUR ball, where did it go, you have to be quicker than that to get YOUR ball back from your friends” hopefully alerting the other owners to the fact that their dog stole my dog’s ball, or the bitch who eventually yells, “hey, that’s my dog’s ball and in case you couldn’t tell, she’s been wandering around trying to find it for the last fifteen minutes while your scary pitbull has been shredding it and you’ve been texting on your phone… could you do something?!”. And while Tally may be too nice to say something, I am not. Especially when my puppy looks like someone broke her heart because she can’t bring her ball back to me.
5. No humping. My sweet baby girl was almost violated a few weeks back. I know I’m taking a risk bringing an un-spayed dog to the dog park, but that’s why I PAY ATTENTION and keep a close watch on everything. If a certain dog starts sniffing around Tally too much, I get her away from him. However, I turned my back for three seconds one time, and when I turned around, there was this mangy looking mutt trying to mount Tally and make her grow up before she’s ready! I ran like I was being chased screaming at the male dog, and ripped him off of Tally before he could do any damage. I don’t think Tally suffered too much long term psychological damage, but I was horrified, and even more so, when I saw the other owner’s reaction. “Aww jeez, it’s okay, we just had him neutered so he’s shootin’ blanks.” Yes. His dog almost had his way with my little girl and his reaction is to boil it down to “he’s shootin’ blanks.” I almost neutered him. Jackass. Anyway, if your female dog is in heat, or if your male dog is a pervert – keep him or her home from the dog park. (And don’t worry – Tally goes in to be spayed in a week.)
I was nervous the first few times I went to the dog park – it seemed to be a world unto itself, with unwritten rules and procedures and etiquette. But, after a few visits, I realized it was pretty simple. Watch your dog. Watch other people. Let the dogs play and have fun, but be responsible. Fellow dog owners – thoughts? Contradictions? Additions to my list?
Saturday Stream of Consciousness
I’m going to start using my Saturday post to unload all the random thoughts I’ve had during the week, or any lingering updates that need spreading… the topics will jump around quickly, and things may not always make a whole lot of sense, but really, how is that any different than normal around here?
- I had to call in the professionals for the carpet. Luckily, I had a 20% off coupon, so I actually had a local carpet cleaner do the entire livingroom in the basement, and he worked some magic on the dog vomit stains. The best news is that the basement no longer reeks, and the stains are gone. Well, I don’t think anyone else will ever see them. I will forever have their image burned in my brain and will always know where to look for them, but that’s my burden to bear.
- Babysitting for a few hours this morning. As I type this last Friday night, I can’t decide if I’m going to want my Saturday Starbucks before the job, or as a reward afterwards. Probably after. Then I can sleep in later, and have something to savor.
- Haven’t decided on further plans for the weekend. I’m in a bit of a funk wherein I have lots of options of things I could do (craft, watch movies, go to a movie, go shopping, read, etc.), and yet nothing is really grabbing my interest.
- Tally is all curled up next to me on the couch and is using her stuffed pig toy as a pillow. It’s pink. Hmmm… her birthday is rapidly approaching. Must start to plan party and find a recipe for a puppy birthday cake. NavyGuy is going to be horrified about this, but he’s 6,000 miles away and therefore unable to stop my madness.
- Also, need to start brainstorming a Halloween costume for Tally.
- Received the formal invitation for the Halfway Party today! We’re doing a dinner boat cruise, which should be AWESOME. My current internal debate is whether I should spring for a new outfit… I don’t really have any fancy “boat” clothes, and it is a special occasion, but, do I care enough to spend the money? Or should I just save coin and have more to spend on a rockin’ Homecoming outfit for when NavyGuy returns?
- TWP loaned me an Eleanor Roosevelt biography and I’m loving it. I really need to just embrace my full on dorkiness, and admit that I love reading biographies and memoirs. This one is a two volume set, so it may derail my Book Challenge progress, but so far it’s worth it. I love reading about these famous people because you sort of know what’s going to happen (like, I’m up to about 1920 in her life, and I’m just waiting for schiznit to hit the fan with FDR getting polio), but at the same time, there’s so many details and aspects that you never learn about in school or other historical works. Obviously the only bummer is that you usually know how the story is going to end
- Well, talking about the book has now made me want to go knock off a few more chapters. NavyGirl and Tally Pup out!
Milspouse Friday Fill-in #10
1. What secret indulgence do you act on while your spouse is away?
I turn his side of the bed into my ancillary nightstand/closet/bookshelf. There are remotes. Books. Magazines. Clothes. One flip flop. A sudoku book. A Cheerios box. Extra pillows. If you searched hard enough, you could probably find Jimmy Hoffa’s body somewhere in the chaos. But it’s so helpful to have that extra space 
2. If you were a spice, what would you be?
Cinnamon. Sweet, with a kick. Versatile. Generally well liked, but inhaling too much at one time can be dangerous
3. Where do you go for support when your significant other is deployed?
Well, besides him (cuz you know, he is still my husband and can be a great support even through an email or phone call), my Mom, my friends, my Sister, my extended family, and my puppy! And they’ve all been fabulous and can never be thanked enough for putting up with my whining, freak-outs, drama, and general NavyGirl-ness.
4. What is the oldest thing you own?
Tough one. The first thing that comes to mind is the section of my baby blanket that I still have.
5. How did you vision your future pre-military?
Teaching somewhere in Wisconsin, married to I don’t know – another teacher, or an insurance agent, or someone with a 9-5 office job – and going on a one week summer vacation up to, like exotic Northern Wisconsin Needless to say, NavyGuy has broadened my horizons.
You can participate by checking out Wife of a Sailor.
Dog Ickiness – Updates
Tally – Didn’t get sick again. Took her to the vet early this morning. Vet gave her two shots, because apparently there’s been a “bug” going around, so he thinks that will take care of it. She doesn’t have a temperature (Tally was NOT expecting to be felt up so early in the morning), and he didn’t feel anything unusual in her stomach. Sent us home with instructions to let her eat a little bit and watch her carefully. So, Tally had about a 1/3 of the food she’d normally get, and now we’re waiting to see what happens. She’s acting a little tired, but that could be the result of the medicine, or her lack of food in the past three days, or her general boredom at all this nonsense going on. (And I’m forbidden from googling anything else about doggie medication side effects, so we’re just going to be calm and collected.)
The Basement – Somewhat habitable. The carpet stains are still there. I’ve tried almost all of the treatments everyone has suggested, and so far, still no progress (clearly, Tally’s vomit has the power of napalm and we’re going to have to call in some professionals). The stains have lightened in color, but there’s still a bit of stink and they’re still obvious to the naked eye. I may not have helped the smell situation because in my haze last night, I tried a recipe of vinegar, warm water, and dish soap that a few different websites recommended… except it wasn’t until after I finished blotting that I realized I had used white wine vinegar… so now the basement smells like a vicious cocktail of vomit, cleaning supplies, vinegar, wine, wet carpet, Pet Odor carpet freshener, and Bath and Body Works cherry blossom candle. This would not be a huge problem except the good tv is down there, as well as the TiVo that has my most recent unwatched episode of Covert Affairs, and well, the comfy couch. Shall we start a pool as to how long it takes before I give in and simply sit downstairs wearing my old swimming nose plug?
The Handheld Vac – a total loss. There were a few tears shed as I dumped it in the garbage can this morning, but the lesson has been learned. Do not stress vacuum. No good will come of it. Seriously, you can’t understand how much I loved this handivac. It was a fabulous Black and Decker cordless, pivoting nose, super powered super sucker that worked so well for cleaning up messes and vacuuming the car, and alas. It will have to go on my Christmas list again (which is so one of the reasons I hate being an adult because your Christmas lists start having boring household crap on them, yet you’re way excited to get those gifts). And I don’t want to hear how, oh, you should try and clean the one you have, blah blah blah, cuz if you think it’s possible to get dog vomit out of a handheld vacuum, then I’ll pay for your airfare so you can come out here and attempt to de-vomitize this thing.
Tally and I are taking the rest of the day off. We’ve made camp on the couch upstairs, I’m waiting to hear back from the carpet cleaning company, and I have a full box of Cheerios. Please cross your fingers that a) Tally doesn’t get sick anymore, b) the smell in the basement doesn’t grow legs and make it’s way upstairs, and c) this whole debacle is not a sign of things to come for the second half of the deployment!
Dog Ickiness
I’ll warn you now this is gross, so if you’re weak in the stomach, go read something else.
Tally – completely out of the blue – yakked on the basement carpet this afternoon. Two sizeable brown spots that smelled like death. I shoved her outside and immediately ran for paper towels, but by the time I got back downstairs the smell almost overtook me and I had to go back upstairs and stick my face in the lilies NavyGuy sent just so I wouldn’t barf myself. Tally hasn’t gotten sick again since then, but now we have new problems:
- I can’t get the stains or smell out of the carpet. I’ve used Spot Shot, Woolite Pet Stains, and Nature’s Miracle and while they’ve lightened slightly, they’re still definitely there and of course, right in the middle of the room so it’s not like I can rearrange the couch to cover them.
- I got irrational desperate while trying to clean it all up and resorted to using my wonderful beautiful handheld vac to suck up the clinging chunks that wouldn’t come out of the carpet fibers. Which now means the handheld vac is going to have to be thrown out cuz I can’t figure out how to get all the dog vomit out of it.
- I made the mistake of Googling “brown smelly dog vomit” and now I’m in a panic because some people on the interwebs are saying that can be a sign of a major obstruction in a dog’s intestinal system and that they should go to a vet right away… but Tally is acting okay, except she’s pouting because I won’t give her any food. So now I’m freaking out that I’m going to kill the dog while NavyGuy’s away.
- The entire basement and staircase smells like dog shiznit. I have fans going, candles burning, windows open – short of fumigation, I’m not sure what else to do at the moment.
Argh!!! Sigh. Okay, perspective – my day could have been worse. I could have had my laptop stolen out of my house like HistoryGirlie did!!!!! I KNOW!! I haven’t gotten all the details yet, but I’m in an unholy panic for her as well. Did anyone else have a shitty (yes, full-on pun there) day?
Halfway?
Yesterday was the theoretical halfway day of this deployment. NavyGuy and I have been having an ongoing dispute about what day is actually halfway, but I’m declaring victory with my iron-clad argument that since we don’t know what date he’ll be coming home, it’s perfectly acceptable for me to simply declare a specific day “the halfway point.”
Luckily, he’s a brilliant husband and knows when to give in to my crazy. And when to send flowers
They smell A-MAZE-ING, and I’m hoping I can keep them alive for more than two days.
Our spouses’ club has a halfway celebration planned in a couple weeks – we’re taking a boat cruise out of Anacortes, having dinner on the boat, and watching the Halfway Video that the deployed guys make for us. We send the guys a video from us as well, with lots of pictures and video clips of the families. It’s hard to believe that we’re halfway done with this nonsense. The first half went so quickly with my traveling and visitors that I’m a wee bit worried the second half is going to drag. However, I have tons of projects and plans to make the time go by quickly, plus Tally keeps me busy. Happy Halfway!!!
