How a Puppy is Like a Toddler

Having spent two and a half weeks with Tally – and many many weeks’ worth of time with toddlers – I’ve developed a strong theory that puppies and toddlers are eerily similar. The evidence:

1. They both have no concept of the word “no.” We tell Tally this a zillion times a day (I even cop a deeply menacing man voice to add gravitas to my no’s), and yet it has absolutely no impact. Ever seen a mom with a toddler at the supermarket? It’s a broken record of no’s and yet said toddler continues to try and throw herself out of the cart/grab random breakable items off shelves/run in the opposite direction.

2. However, a toddler and puppy’s favorite word is “no.” In a conversation with HistoryGirlie last week, her daughter Kitty said no to Elmo, bananas, chicken nuggets, fruit, cookies, play, sleep, diaper, and flugglehorn. Tally’s “no” isn’t as clearly spoken, but the sentiment is understood by all.

3. Both enjoy putting things they shouldn’t in their mouths. I suppose most toddlers are getting past this stage, but I think the concept holds. Hand Tally a tennis ball, rope toy, or even a treat – no interest. Leave a sheet of paper, bathroom rug, phone cord, or coffee table on the ground, and she’s suddenly very interested.

4. Puppies and toddlers thwart all productivity. It now takes me 20 minutes to unload the dishwasher because I have to stop every six seconds and see what Tally’s chewing on, or why she’s wandered out of the kitchen and is she peeing somewhere… Crafting is a joke – she only wants to sit on my lap and eat the paper. Leave a toddler or a puppy alone for one second and they’ll manage to stick their fingers/paw in an outlet or worse; it’s nearly impossible to complete even the simplest of tasks… unless you can manage to get them to take a nap 🙂

5. Both are super cute and snuggly. And this is how toddlers survive their terrible twos and dogs survive puppyhood – even when they’re chewing on your favorite shoes or taking off all of their clothes and dancing on the glass coffee table (yup, definitely a true story), they’re so adorable and lovable, you can’t help but smile at them. Once Tally finally crashes for the night and curls up on my lap, all of the day’s headaches and frustrations are forgiven.

Moms or dog-owners – did I forget anything?


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